Breaking up is never easy. Whether you’re the one who ended the relationship or the one who was left, the emotional aftermath can be overwhelming. Having recently gone through a breakup myself, I understand just how difficult it can be, especially when there’s no clear reason or fight behind it. It’s one thing to end things amid anger or betrayal, but it’s another to part ways simply because life has taken you in different directions.

In my case, we both realized that we were at different places in our lives. We had to be brave enough to stand up for our own desires, acknowledging that the timing just wasn’t right for us. Despite the care we still have for each other, we decided it was best to part ways due to conflicts we couldn’t resolve. The care I have for him remains, and I cherish the time we shared, holding onto a hope that maybe one day the timing might be right. But for now, the best thing to do is to focus on healing and moving forward.

No matter what prompted the breakup, the pain and grief of losing what you thought you’d have with someone you love can be devastating. It’s a universal experience, one that many of us go through at some point. With that in mind, I want to share some things that have helped me during this difficult time. My hope is that they might offer you some comfort and guidance as well. Healing is a journey, unique for everyone, but it’s crucial to take care of yourself every step of the way.

Take Care of Yourself First and Foremost

  • Prioritize Self-Care: Make sure you are eating, drinking plenty of water, sleeping well, and maintaining your hygiene. It’s easy to neglect these basics when you’re feeling down and all you want to do is cry in bed while watching The Notebook (true story), but it’s crucial for your well-being that you practice at least the bare necessities to maintain your health.  
  • Stay Active: Exercise is a great way to boost your mood and get those endorphins flowing. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a yoga session, or hitting the gym, staying active can help you feel better physically and emotionally. Try to get your body moving for at least a short while every day until you can get back to your regular workout schedule.  
  • Do Things You Enjoy: Engage in activities that make you happy. Paint your nails, style your hair, watch your favorite movies, or read a good book. These small acts can provide a sense of normalcy and joy. Although it’s crucial to experience and feel all the stages of your emotions throughout the breakup and healing period, sometimes distractions can help get your mind off things for a little while and aid the grieving process.  

Taking care of yourself is essential during this time. Prioritizing self-care, staying active, and doing things you enjoy are crucial steps in maintaining your physical and emotional well-being. Remember, these small acts of kindness towards yourself are not just about healing but also about reaffirming your worth and strength. By focusing on these basics, you create a foundation of self-love and resilience that will support you through the healing process.

Don’t Obsess

  • Avoid Overthinking: Once the decision to break up is made, try not to overanalyze every detail. Overthinking and playing “what if” scenarios can keep you stuck in the past. Remember the reasons why the breakup happened and the feelings that led to it. Don’t dwell on what you could have done differently. The decision to break up isn’t easy and likely involved a lot of thought.  
  • Don’t Second Guess: Trust that you made the right choice for yourself. Were you a priority? Were your needs met? Was there healthy communication? Did your short and long term goals align?  Reflect on these questions and if any of these areas were lacking, it’s probably best that you made the decision you did. Focus now on moving forward.  
  • Let Go: If he was the one to break up with you, let him go.  It’s important to feel the pain so you can heal, but also to respect his decision and let him move on. You can’t change his mind or desires, so don’t waste energy on those thoughts. Let him move on, and give yourself the time to heal, and move on when you’re ready.

Avoiding the trap of overthinking and second-guessing is crucial for your emotional recovery. Obsessing over the past only keeps you stuck and prevents you from moving forward. Trust the decision that was made and focus on letting go. By resisting the urge to analyze every detail, you give yourself the freedom to heal and grow. Remember, what’s meant to be will be, and it’s important to allow both yourself and your ex the space to move on.

Stay Positive and Hopeful

  • Keep Hope Alive: Just because this relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean you won’t find love again. Starting over can be daunting, especially if you’ve already done it before and the older we get, but believe that the right person is still out there for you. As they always say, you’ll probably meet him when you least expect it. Stay positive and focus on yourself in the meantime.  
  • You’re Never Too Old: Age is just a number. It’s never too late to find happiness and love again. New beginnings can bring about hope and beauty, offering fresh opportunities for joy and connection.
  • Surround Yourself with Joy: Spend time with supportive and positive people who uplift you. Their encouragement can help you maintain a hopeful outlook and remind you of your worth. Not getting too down on yourself and being around others who care about you is crucial during this time as well.

Staying positive and hopeful after a breakup is essential for your future happiness. Keep hope alive and remember that this breakup doesn’t define your future relationships. Starting over can be intimidating, but it’s never too late to find love and happiness again. Embrace the belief that the right person is out there for you, and use this time to focus on personal growth and new opportunities. Maintaining a hopeful outlook will guide you toward a brighter and more fulfilling future.

Don’t Let Loneliness Take Over

Feeling lonely after a breakup is natural, especially if you were used to looking forward to someone’s call, date nights, or quality time together at home. Without roommates or kids in the house, the silence can be overwhelming, but there are healthy ways to distract yourself and keep loneliness at bay.

  • Pets Are Great Companions: If you have a pet, spend quality time with them. Go for a walk, make a funny TikTok video, play fetch, or give them a bath. Their unconditional love and companionship can be incredibly comforting, and they’ll appreciate the extra time and attention.  
  • Reach Out to Friends: Connect with friends and plan social activities. Whether it’s a coffee date, a movie night, or just a phone call, spending time with others can alleviate feelings of loneliness.  
  • Engage in New Activities and Hobbies: Take this time to explore new interests or rekindle old ones. Join a class, start a new hobby, or volunteer. These activities can fill your time and introduce you to new people.  
  • Enjoy Your Alone Time: It can be sad not having something to look forward to, like the next date or time you’d see each other, but this won’t last forever. Use this downtime to enjoy your own company and rediscover yourself. Read, meditate, cook a new recipe, or take up a solo project. View being alone as a positive opportunity to cherish your own company.  
  • Focus on the Future: The feeling of loneliness is temporary. You’ll have things to look forward to again, and this period of alone time can be a chance to grow and prepare for new opportunities and relationships. Reflect on what you want for yourself and your relationships in the future, so you’ll know what you want with Mr. Right when you meet him.  

It’s easy to feel sad and down when you’re alone, but try to distract yourself in healthy ways. Pets, friends, and new activities can help fill the void, and before you know it, you’ll have things to look forward to again. Use this time to focus on yourself and embrace the possibilities that lie ahead, whether you’re single or in a relationship again one day. Embrace whatever season you’re in and be grateful for all you have along the way.

Embrace the Journey

Healing after a breakup is a journey, one that requires patience, self-compassion, and a positive outlook. By taking care of yourself, resisting the urge to overthink, staying hopeful, and not letting loneliness take over, you pave the way for personal growth and new beginnings.

Additional Tips:

  • Surround Yourself with Support: Lean on your friends and family. They can offer a listening ear, comforting words, and a reminder that you’re not alone.  
  • Set New Goals: Focus on personal growth and set new goals for yourself. Whether it’s learning a new skill, taking up a hobby, or pursuing a career goal, redirecting your energy can be empowering.  
  • Limit Contact: It can be tempting to reach out to your ex, but it’s often better to have some distance. Give yourself time and space to heal without reopening old wounds.  
  • Seek Professional Help: If you’re finding it hard to cope, consider talking to a therapist. They can provide guidance and support as you navigate your emotions.  
  • Embrace New Opportunities: A breakup can be a chance for a fresh start. Embrace new opportunities and experiences that come your way.  

To put it bluntly, breaking up sucks and it’s okay to be sad for a while. But remember to take care of yourself, stay active, and do things that make you happy. Avoid obsessing over the past, let go, and keep hope alive for the future. Surround yourself with support, set new goals, and embrace the opportunities that come your way. Healing takes time, but you will get through this and come out stronger on the other side.

Life has a way of surprising us when we least expect it. Every step you take towards healing brings you closer to a brighter and more fulfilling future. Embrace the possibilities, cherish the support around you, and trust in your resilience. What’s meant to be will unfold, and you have the strength to move forward with hope and optimism.

As always, I’m right here with you and you have all my love and support,

-LS