by Lindsay | Jun 5, 2024 | Home + Life
Hey mommas!
Ladies, if you’re a proud mom of a German Shepherd (or three, like me), you know that life with these magnificent furballs is an adventure filled with love, laughter, and a fair share of chaos. If you’re considering joining the GSD mom club, here’s a playful peek into what you’re in for.
Personal Space? What’s That?
Forget about personal space. Going to the bathroom alone? A distant memory. My three GSDs have made it their mission to accompany me everywhere. I mean, who needs privacy when you’ve got an audience of loyal pups watching your every move? I guess they assume that since I technically “watch” them while they potty, they should return the favor.
Kitchen Shadows
Cooking and doing dishes? Picture this: three large, eager bodies circling your feet in a tiny crowded kitchen, hoping for a fallen crumb or a generous handout. They are your little shadows, always present, always hungry, and always underfoot. Meal prep becomes a dance of avoiding paws and tails. And watch where you step or you’re bound to land in a drool pile.
TV Time Companions
When it’s time to relax and watch TV, expect to have at least one GSD at your feet. They’re the best foot warmers, albeit large and sometimes heavy. And don’t even think about trying to move without alerting them; they’ll be up and ready to follow you wherever you go.
Nose Print Art
Windows and glass doors are their canvases. They create modern nose print art that I like to call “GSD masterpieces.” Cleaning it off is a constant battle, but it’s also a cute reminder of their presence.
The Joy of Sharing
Sharing food? Get used to it. They know the sound of the treat bag and the fridge door. Try sneaking a piece of cheese without them knowing – I dare you. It’s like they have a sixth sense for snacks and always demand a cheese tax.
Redecorating Pros
My GSDs have a knack for redecorating. Furniture gets moved, things get knocked over by their enthusiastic tails, items you know you left somewhere magically go missing. It’s like living with furry interior designers who believe in constant change. My decor tastes are never good enough on their own so thank goodness I have 3 of these little experts to help where I fall short.
Kleptomaniac Tendencies
Stealing socks, raiding the garbage, and snatching toys – it’s all part of the fun. I’ve found socks in the most unusual places and had to rescue countless items from their jaws. And let’s not forget the possessiveness over non-toys like that sandwich shop paper bag that had a hidden pickle. Yes, a pickle. Growling and hoarding all over a pickle.
Fetch Fanatics
Playing fetch is serious business. They would chase a ball or a frisbee until they drop from exhaustion, literally risking heat stroke for the sake of the game. Obsessed is an understatement.
Water Lovers
Water is life. Puddles, the river, sprinklers – they love it all. Bath time is less of a chore and more of a party. Be prepared for wet dog shakes and the ensuing mess. We always bathe outside because they like to involve me in being showered as well.
Shedding Champions
German Shedders? Absolutely. They shed for six months twice a year. Your vacuum cleaner will become your best friend, and lint rollers are a necessity. Embrace the fur, because it’s everywhere.
And Shredding Champions
German Shredders? Also yes! Leave a random piece of mail, newspaper, or magazine laying around and no worries, your pup will gladly
Super Smart
Their intelligence is both a blessing and a curse. They know so many commands and words, sometimes even strange ones like “ice” or “move.” It’s impressive and occasionally eerie how much they understand.
The GSD Experience
I’ve had seven German Shepherds over my lifetime, and while I’m no expert, I can tell you that being a GSD mom is a unique and rewarding experience. They’re loyal, loving, and full of personality. Life with them is never dull, and the joy they bring far outweighs the occasional chaos.
So, if you’re thinking about becoming a GSD mom, prepare for an adventure filled with love, laughter, and a lot of fur. Welcome to the club – it’s a wild, wonderful ride!
-LS
by Lindsay | May 29, 2024 | Love + Relationships
Dear brave-hearted women,
Wading in the uncharted waters of new love after experiencing betrayal and heartache can feel like stepping onto a tightrope without a safety net. The wounds from past relationships, especially infidelity and divorce, can leave deep scars that cast shadows of doubt and insecurity on our ability to trust again. As women who have weathered storms of disappointment and betrayal, it’s natural to approach new relationships with a mixture of hope and trepidation. But amidst the uncertainty, there lies the possibility of healing, growth, and love that surpasses past pain.
As someone who understands the weight of emotional baggage and the struggle to feel worthy of love after being hurt, I want to share some insights on how to navigate these murky waters and find solace in the embrace of a new relationship. I’m still going through this myself and by no means have it all figured out. I also find that although my head knows the right thing to do, sometimes putting it into practice in the moment is hard. One important step is to find a partner who’s understanding and empathetic, willing to be patient and reassuring, and is committed to you, your healing, and building a healthy and long lasting relationship with you. The fact is, we all have baggage. Finding the person willing to unpack it all with you (and you with them), your ride-or-die, is the most important part.
Acknowledge Your Feelings:
The first step towards healing is acknowledging your emotions. It’s okay to feel vulnerable, insecure, and afraid. By allowing yourself to feel these emotions without judgment from yourself or from others (again, this is where the right partner is paramount), you pave the way for healing and self-discovery. Once you figure out how you truly feel and discern your worries, you can begin to take the next steps toward moving forward.
Honor Your Past, Embrace Your Present:
Your past does not define your future. While it’s essential to acknowledge the pain of your previous relationship, it’s equally important to recognize that you deserve happiness and love in the present moment. Embrace the opportunity for a fresh start and allow yourself to be open to new possibilities. The person you’re with now isn’t anyone from your past. Even though it might be hard to put the past behind you, try your best to look toward a positive future with someone who genuinely cares about you and your happiness.
Communicate Openly:
Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship (no matter the type of relationship, but especially a romantic one). Be honest with your partner about your fears and insecurities. Expressing your feelings allows for vulnerability and fosters a deeper connection based on trust and understanding of one another. Opening op to your partner might help them to respect you more and even encourage them to open up deeper to you as well.
Set Boundaries:
Establishing boundaries is crucial in rebuilding trust and safeguarding your emotional well-being. Clearly communicate your needs and expectations with your partner and don’t be afraid to assert yourself if something doesn’t feel right. You can’t live in fear that your boundaries won’t be respected and that might cause you to lose someone. If that’s the case, it could just be they’re not the right person for you and it’s better to know that now.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Be kind to yourself during this journey of healing. Practice self-care and self-love, nurturing your mind, body, and soul. You’re worthy of love and deserve to be cherished just as you are. If you aren’t compassionate with yourself and set an example, how can you expect your new partner to show you compassion/?
Trust Your Intuition:
Trust your instincts when it comes to discerning whether someone is genuinely invested in your well-being. Pay attention to red flags, but also allow yourself to trust in the possibility of love and connection. Even though it’s important not to project past relationship traumas onto new relationships, it’s also important to keep in mind that if it doesn’t feel right, it might not be and that’s okay.
Take It Slow:
Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is trust. As much as you want to give unwavering trust from day one, that’s not always realistic in a new relationship of any kind. Take your time getting to know your new partner and allow the relationship to unfold naturally. Rushing into things may exacerbate feelings of insecurity and doubt. Again, trust your gut!
Seek Support:
Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or a therapist who can offer guidance and encouragement along the way. Sharing your experiences with others who understand can provide comfort and validation. You want to put the best and most healthy version forward in any relationship you enter into, but also have the ability to recognize red flags and know when to walk away. Learning to know the difference can help save you from potential heartache, but with proper support and guidance, can help you establish a long-lasting and beautifully trusting relationship.
Focus on Personal Growth:
Use this time to focus on your personal growth and self-discovery. Invest in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment and cultivate a sense of independence and confidence outside of the relationship. Allow your partner time to be an individual as well. Building a strong sense of separation and time to miss each other early on can help develop healthy routines and patterns in your relationship that can be sustained long term and lead to lasting success. As much as you want to spend time with your partner, learning to trust them during times you’re not together is important and having your own separate activities outside of the relationship is a great way to practice that.
Believe in Second Chances:
Lastly, believe in the power of second chances. While the scars of past hurt may linger, they do not have to define the course of your future. Allow yourself to embrace the possibility of love, knowing that you are stronger and wiser because of your experiences. This might even be the case for your partner as well, so embrace each other, your baggages, and learn to love and trust each other in healthy ways. You’re a team so work together to achieve a beautiful relationship and break free from insecurities in time.
Remember, dear friends, healing takes time, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Trust that the right person will see your worth and treasure the beautiful soul that you are. You are deserving of love, happiness, and a future filled with hope and possibility. Hold your head up high, be confident, and feel secure in yourself and your relationship. Even if that’s easier said than done right now, trust me, it will be worth it in the end!
With love and solidarity,
-LS
by Lindsay | May 22, 2024 | Home + Life
Hey beach beauties,
I’m beyond thrilled to share that I’m about to go on my first real vacation as an adult! After years of dreaming about sandy shores and ocean breezes, it’s finally happening. In just a few short weeks, I’ll be heading to the beach and staying in a surprisingly affordable vacation rental condo right on the Gulf. Talk about convenience. We’ll be just a few steps from laying in the sand, tanning, swimming, and maybe even some sea fishing anytime we want. Excited doesn’t begin to describe how I feel!
Having said that, I tend to be an overthinker, overplanner, and overpacker. I love being extra prepared, trying to anticipate everything we might need in any situation ahead of time. Plus, since I haven’t been on a vacation in a while, I’m a little out of practice on planning and packing everything we’ll need for a beach trip. We’ll be driving to our beach destination which means space will be limited in the vehicle and I want to keep myself from bringing everything but the kitchen sink. So I’ve put together this packing list to help ensure I have all the essentials without going too overboard and wanted to share these beach vacation packing tips with you as well.
Beach Bag Essentials
1. The Beach Bag: First and foremost, you’ll want a durable and possibly large bag to carry all your essentials to the beach. One that’s water resistant and easy to rinse off is an added bonus.
2. Sunscreen: This is a no-brainer, but it’s worth mentioning. Choose a broad-spectrum SPF 30 or higher and make sure you have one that’s safe for the whole family to use. Also don’t forget to pack a lip balm with SPF, too!
3. Towels: Large, absorbent beach towels are a must, especially for little ones who might get chilly quickly. Consider quick-dry towels if you’re short on packing space, so they can be reused if making multiple, frequent trips to the water.
4. Beach Hat: A wide-brimmed hat to protect your face and scalp from the sun is a great idea.
5. Sunglasses: Polarized lenses that protect against UVA and UVB rays are best to shield your eyes and reduce glare from the water.
6. Beach Cover-Up: Something light and airy that you can easily slip on over your swimsuit or shorts and a tank if that’s more your style.
Clothing
1. Swimsuits: At least two or more, depending on how long your trip is and how much time you’ll spend swimming. That way you always have a clean, dry one ready to go.
2. Casual Day Outfits: Light, breathable fabrics are your best friend. Think sundresses, shorts, tank tops, and t-shirts.
3. Evening Wear: Depending on your other non-beach plans, remember a couple of nicer outfits for dinners or evenings out. A maxi dress or a chic jumpsuit can be both comfortable, cool, and stylish.
4. Pajamas: Opt for items that are lightweight and comfortable!
5. Undergarments: Don’t forget enough for the duration of your trip and always, always take extras.
6. Activewear: If you plan on staying on your fitness routine while on vacation with morning jogs on the beach or yoga, pack a couple of workout outfits.
7. Footwear:
- Flip-Flops/Sandals: Comfortable and easy to slip on and off. Also easy to dump sand out of and rinse off before heading home.
- Casual/Athletic Shoes: Comfortable walking shoes or sneakers for exploring, hiking, or exercising.
- Dressy Shoes: Something nicer for dinners and evenings out.
8. Extras: Just in case you don’t have laundry facilities, make sure to bring extras of everything (not just undies).
Personal Care Items
1. Toiletries: Face wash, body wash, loofah, razor, toothbrush, toothpaste, moisturizer, and cotton swabs. Consider travel-sized bottles to save space. Don’t forget feminine products that are beach appropriate, just in case.
2. Moisturizer: In addition to sunscreen, lotions, after-sun moisturizers, and aloe vera gel to soothe your skin are great ideas.
3. Hair Care: A wide-tooth comb, hair ties and clips, shampoo, conditioner, leave-in conditioner to combat tangles and dryness, and styling products. Sea salt spray is a great product to help enhance those perfect air dried beachy waves.
4. Makeup: For water days, I like to keep my face minimal and bronzy, but with an emphasis on sun protection. My suggestions would be waterproof mascara, tinted moisturizer with SPF, and a lip tint or balm (also with SPF). Maybe bring a small eyeshadow or blush palette as well for dinners or evenings out.
5. Medication: Don’t forget any prescription medications for each family member, plus a basic first aid kit with band-aids, antiseptic wipes, anti-itch ointments, antacids, and pain relievers for all age groups in your family.
Miscellaneous Must-Haves
1. Reusable Water Bottle: Stay hydrated throughout the day, especially in the sun and when in hotter climates than you’re used to.
2. Snacks: Healthy options like nuts, dried fruit, and granola bars and things that won’t melt in the sun all day are a plus.
3. Books/Kindle: Perfect for relaxing on the beach or unwinding before bed.
4. Portable Charger: Keep your devices charged for photos and emergency calls.
5. Laptop: If you’re someone who works on the go, make sure to have your laptop, mouse, and any other necessary accessories.
6. Beach Blanket: For lounging comfortably on the sand.
7. Beach Chairs and Canopy or Umbrella: For comfort and shade on the beach. Try to find options that are easy to assemble/put up, lightweight, and compact.
8. Cooler: To keep drinks and snacks cool during your beach days.
9. Entertainment: Playing cards, beach games, or a frisbee for both beach entertainment and for use at the house or condo before and after outings.
10. Waterproof Phone Case: Protect your phone from water damage with a waterproof case, which might also help protect it from sand. You may opt to leave your phone at “home” for the day, but they’re always nice to have for capturing photos of those memorable vacation moments with your family.
11. Fishing Gear: If you’re planning to fish, make sure you have all the necessary equipment.
12. Food and Drinks: Plan for meals in addition to your snacks. Think easy-to-pack options like sandwiches, fruit, and chips.
13. Bluetooth Speaker: For some beach tunes or for use at the condo or hotel.
14. Board Games/Card Games: Fun for the evenings or rainy days.
15. Emergency kit: If you’re planning to drive to your destination, make sure you have tools to change a tire, jumper cables, and a flashlight, just in case.
Pro Packing Tips
1. Create a Checklist: Mark off items as you pack them to ensure nothing is forgotten. Whether you’re a pen and paper or a phone app kind of gal, make sure you have a list you can use for both packing to depart and for returning home. I’ve created a free printable list you’re welcome to use to help get you started with the basics.
2. Roll Your Clothes: This will save space and minimize wrinkles.
3. Packing Cubes: Keep your suitcase organized and make it easier to find items.
4. Ziplock Baggies: Great for keeping wet clothes separate or protecting electronics from sand and water.
I hope this list helps you feel as prepared as possible for your next beach vacation without going over the deep end and bringing your entire household. But worst case scenario, remember that if you forget something, your vacation spot likely has grocery stores, convenience stores, pharmacies, and other local shops to pick up whatever you need. So don’t stress and try to enjoy the sun, surf, and sand – you deserve it. If you have any additional must-pack items or tips, feel free to share them in the comments with me too!
With love and safe travel wishes,
-LS
by Lindsay | May 15, 2024 | Seasons + Celebrations
Hi there, gift-giving girlies!
Have you ever asked yourself what to get your husband/boyfriend/dad/brother for his birthday? I know I have. It’s not about being the perfect wife, girlfriend, etc and buying the perfect gift. It’s about giving the special man in your life something so special and seeing the excitement on their face when they unwrap it or learn that they’re going to do something exciting with you. It’s so special to give something to our men that will truly make them happy, especially after all they do for us. As we celebrate these special guys, whether it’s a significant other, father, brother, or son, finding the perfect birthday gift can be a delightful yet challenging task. Striking the balance between practicality and sentimentality, while still being something manly and wanted, let’s explore a variety of gift ideas tailored to suit the diverse tastes and interests for the men in our lives. And hey, these gifts might be perfect for Father’s Day or other holidays as well, not just birthdays!
I’ve broken this list into two sections; one for tangible gifts and one for gifts that are actually experiences. So whether your hubby, boyfriend, dad, or brother like to unwrap something or prefer to have an adventure on their special day, here are some ideas that will captivate all kinds of different interests.
Thoughtful Gifts He Can Unwrap
1. Classy Timepieces:
A sophisticated watch not only adds a touch of elegance, but also serves as a timeless and classic accessory. Depending on your budgets and his tastes in jewelry, you can consider brands like Rolex, Seiko, Citizen, or Fossil for quality craftsmanship. Be sure to take into account his likes, colors he typically wears, and practicality (whether for everyday wear or special dressed up occasions). In addition to a watch, I also recently got my special someone a beautiful wooden case with a glass top that stores and displays all his watches.
2. Signature Cologne:
Pick up a bottle of his favorite go-to cologne or if he’s comfortable experimenting, enhance his charm with a brand new signature scent that complements his personality and style. Opt for popular fragrances from brands like YSL, Versace, Ralph Lauren, or Dior. Make sure it’s something that you feel he’ll like, but also something that will please your sniffer as well since you’ll be smelling it, too.
3. Quality Knives Set:
For the culinary enthusiast or chef in your life, a set of high-quality kitchen knives can elevate his cooking experience. Look for renowned brands like Wusthof, Shun, or Zwilling for durable and precise blades. Or for a more personalized and truly unique experience, check out a local forgery and have a knife custom made just for your special man and even opt to include his initials for an even more personalized experience.
4. Personalized Leather Wallet:
Add a personal touch with a monogrammed leather wallet, combining practicality with style. Be sure to take his preferences like front pocket or back pocket and bi-fold or tri-fold in mind when picking out the perfect design. Explore online retailers like Etsy for customizable options.
5. Gourmet Food Basket:
If your special someone is a foodie, indulge his taste buds with a curated selection of gourmet treats, including artisanal cheeses, fine wines, and gourmet chocolates.
6. Tech Gadgets:
From wireless headphones and Bluetooth speakers to smart home devices and watches, technology enthusiasts will appreciate the latest gadgets to enhance their daily routines. Check out retailers like Best Buy for the best brands, overall value, or latest and greatest features.
7. Customized Photo Album:
Compile cherished memories into a beautifully designed photo album or scrapbook, capturing the moments you’ve shared together that he can proudly display at his business or home office. Even just a single picture of the two in a unique or special frame can be a sentimental gift that he’ll enjoy and can adorn his desk for years to come.
8. Stylish Executive Accessories:
Elevate his professional wardrobe with a sleek and functional leather briefcase or messenger bag. The best part is these accessories are not only great for work, but can be perfect for travel as well. And if your man is someone who travels for work more often than the average person, another great idea might be to invest in a matching set of luggage, toiletry accessories, and travel briefcase so he arrives at each new destination in style. Check out brands like Samsonite or Coach, or even look for great finds on Amazon.
9. Outdoor Grilling Set:
For the barbecue aficionado, a full grilling set complete with tools, spices, sauces, and accessories will enhance his outdoor cooking experience. Or better yet, a brand new pit might be an excellent option if it’s something he’s been looking at and is within your budget.
10. Craft Beer or Whiskey Tasting Set:
Treat him to a tasting experience with a curated selection of craft beers or premium whiskeys, allowing him to explore new flavors and aromas. And on the plus side for you, local breweries and wineries are wonderful venues for romantic date nights!
11. Fitness Tracker or Smartwatch:
Help him stay active and organized with a fitness tracker or smartwatch that monitors his daily activities, workouts, and notifications on the go. Be sure to get one that’s compatible with his cellphone whether he’s an iPhone or Android user.
12. Luxurious Tie or Pocket Square:
Upgrade his wardrobe with a luxurious silk tie or pocket square in a classic or contemporary design, adding a touch of sophistication to his ensemble. This is a great option for someone with exquisite taste who dresses well frequently for work purposes.
13. EDC Item Collector:
Keep his essentials (AKA “every day carry” or “EDC” items) organized and easily accessible, as well as declutter your home all in one with a sleek organizer designed for keys, pocket knives, watches, and more. Keep your countertops or bedside tables free from miscellaneous things being left about after work each day and also help to streamline his daily routine with this stylish and practical gift. Some organizers can even contain chargers for cellphones and smart watches.
14. Personalized Leather Journal:
Encourage his creativity with a beautifully crafted leather journal, customized with his initials or a meaningful message. Whether he enjoys writing, sketching, or jotting down thoughts for personal or work reminders, this timeless gift will inspire him to document his journey and aspirations.
Memorable Gifts He Can Experience
1. Concert Tickets:
Treat him to an unforgettable night out with tickets to see his favorite band or artist live in concert. Check websites like Ticketmaster or StubHub for upcoming events, or visit the direct websites of some of his favorite artists for tour dates in your area.
2. Exotic Car Rental:
Fulfill his automotive dreams with an exhilarating drive in a luxury sports car. Rent a Lamborghini, Ferrari, or Porsche for a day of adrenaline-fueled adventure.
3. Racetrack Experience:
For the adrenaline junkie, gift him a thrilling day at the racetrack where he can test his driving skills behind the wheel of a high-performance race car. Some tracks have bring-your-own-car experiences, while others allow you drive actual sports cars, with or without professional drivers. Check out your local oval or street tracks to explore your options.
4. Weekend Getaway:
Plan a romantic weekend getaway to his favorite destination, whether it’s a cozy cabin in the mountains or a beachfront resort by the sea. Take this opportunity to reconnect and create lasting memories together (with or without the kids…no judgment either way!).
5. Outdoor Adventure:
Embark on an outdoor adventure such as hiking, camping, or fishing, allowing him to unwind and reconnect with nature. Go as a family or if he needs some relaxing alone time away, partner with his buddies so they can join in on a guys only weekend.
6. Sports Game Tickets:
Surprise him with tickets to see his favorite sports team play live, whether it’s football, baseball, soccer, or boxing. Share in the excitement of cheering on the home team from the stands.
7. Hot Air Balloon Ride:
For the thrill seeker in your life, give him with a breathtaking hot air balloon ride, offering panoramic views of picturesque landscapes and a truly unforgettable experience.
8. Gourmet Cooking Class:
Sharpen his culinary skills with a gourmet cooking class led by professional chefs, where he can learn new techniques and recipes to impress family and friends. Whether he’s into Italian or Mexican, there’s sure to be a class around you local area that he can participate in.
9. Wine Tasting Tour:
Book a wine tasting tour through scenic vineyards and wineries, indulging in the finest wines and culinary delights along the way. Again, this is another opportunity for a romantic date idea that the two of you can actually enjoy together.
10. Private Yacht Charter:
Charter a private yacht for a romantic day on the water, complete with gourmet dining, snorkeling, and sunset views for a luxurious and intimate experience.
11. VIP Upgrade:
Upgrade his game day or concert with VIP tickets, access to exclusive lounges, and meet-and-greet opportunities with athletes or artists for an unforgettable sporting or musical event experience.
12. Helicopter Tour:
Take to the skies with a thrilling helicopter tour of iconic landmarks and breathtaking scenery, offering a unique perspective and lasting memories. Book a tour of your home town or the nearest larger city for even more beautiful views.
13. Skydiving Adventure:
Lift his birthday celebration to new heights with a thrilling skydiving experience. Tandem jump from thousands of feet above the ground, feeling the rush of adrenaline as you freefall through the sky before safely parachuting back to earth. It’s an exhilarating adventure that the adventure junkie in your life will never forget.
14. Storm Chasing Expedition:
For the adventurous soul who seeks excitement and adrenaline, embark on a thrilling storm chasing expedition. Join experienced meteorologists and chase epic storms across breathtaking landscapes, witnessing the awe-inspiring power of nature up close. From dramatic lightning displays to swirling tornadoes, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime adventure that promises unforgettable memories.
By considering his interests, hobbies, and preferences, you can select a thoughtful gift or plan an unforgettable experience that celebrates his uniqueness, pleases his soul, and even strengthens your bond as a couple. Whether it’s a tangible gift or an amazing adventure, the most important aspect is the thought and effort you put into making his birthday truly special.
With much love and birthday wishes,
-LS
by Lindsay | May 8, 2024 | Love + Relationships
Hello lovely ladies,
The aftermath of a breakup or divorce can be one of the most challenging journeys we undertake, especially the older we get and after longer time periods with that person. As someone who has recently divorced from a marriage, plus over a decade total together, I understand the whirlwind of emotions that come with such a life-altering event. Going through the healing process is a rollercoaster and definitely not linear. Plus, disconnecting the life you built and merged together, navigating the situation with kids, and just learning how to start over on your own can all be very scary, surreal, and overwhelming. However, once we make it over the complexities and difficulties, I’m very pleased to say it does get better and you can find happiness once again. Today, I want to share my personal experience and some insights on healing, knowing when you’re ready to move on, and dipping your toes back into the dating pool after a divorce in your 30s.
Healing After Heartbreak
Healing is the first and most crucial step. It’s perfectly fine to feel hurt, lost, scared, and overwhelmed. Give yourself the grace to feel and process these emotions, and any others you may experience. For me, it involved rediscovering passions I had set aside, spending quality time with myself and the furballs, reconnecting with my needs, and updating my home to create a happy space just for myself. Spending intentional alone time may be helpful and taking a short break from typical social events is okay. Your community will understand! On the contrary, therapy, support groups, and extra friend and family time can be incredibly helpful during this time as well. Remember, healing doesn’t look the same for everyone and there’s no set timeline on how long it should or will take. It’s about finding what works for you, allowing yourself to grieve and grow at your own pace, rediscovering your new self, and taking the best care of your needs and well-being (both physically and mentally) in the meantime.
Know When You’re Ready
How do you know when you’re ready to date again? It’s different for everyone. Some signs might include feeling genuinely excited about the prospect of meeting new people, having a clearer sense of what you want in a partner (or maybe knowing what you DON’T want), and feeling emotionally stable. For me, the thought of moving on almost felt like a betrayal to the partner I had been with for so long, so when the thought of dating someone new no longer gives you negative feelings, but instead fills you with curiosity and hope, that could be your sign. I also knew it might be time to move on after I stopped missing my marriage and wishing it hadn’t worked out the way it did, and finally had started to accept what “is” without the longing to get the things I had back. I finally started to embrace the thought of a new life with someone new who could love me in the ways that I needed. Someone wise (my mom) kept telling me, “you can’t open the door to something new until you close the door to the old” and that was really helpful advice to help keep me moving forward.
Put Yourself Out There
So, how do you start dating again? The idea can be daunting, but remember, you’re not alone. Many women (and men!) in their 30s are in the same boat. Start small and be gentle with yourself. When you do meet people, look out for red flags, patterns you see from past relationships, and follow your gut instincts to help protect yourself from making the same mistakes or from being hurt again. It’s not that you have to build a fortress around your heart and never let anyone in again. You just don’t want to be too cautious and settle for just anyone. You’re worth happiness and someone who is going to treat you the way you deserve, so never accept any less!
When you’re ready, here are some ways to get back into the dating scene:
- Online Dating Apps and Websites: Popular dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, and Match.com allow you to create profiles and connect with potential matches based on your preferences and interests.
- Speed Dating Events: Many cities host speed dating events where you can meet a large number of potential partners in a short period of time. These events are structured to give you brief, timed interactions with each participant.
- Matchmaking Services: Professional matchmakers and matchmaking services can help you find compatible partners based on your personality, interests, and relationship goals. These services often provide a personalized and curated dating experience.
- Singles Meetup Groups: Websites like Meetup.com have groups specifically for singles looking to meet others. These groups organize various activities, from social gatherings to outdoor adventures, specifically designed for singles.
- Virtual Dating Events: Virtual speed dating or online social events have become increasingly popular, especially post-pandemic. These events allow you to meet people from the comfort of your home via video chat.
- Social Media Platforms: Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn can be used to connect with potential romantic partners. Joining groups or participating in discussions related to your interests can lead to meaningful connections. Many of these sites also have groups dedicated to meeting singles with common interests in your particular area.
- Online Interest Groups and Forums: Participating in online forums, Reddit communities, or interest-based groups (e.g., gaming, literature, travel) can help you meet like-minded individuals. Some of these connections can transition into romantic relationships and if not, you might be able to make new friends!
- Singles Cruises or Travel Groups: Companies organize cruises and travel packages specifically for singles. These trips are designed to foster social interactions and romantic connections among participants.
- Dating Coaches and Workshops: Engaging with a dating coach or attending dating workshops can provide you with strategies and opportunities to meet potential partners. These services often include social events and networking opportunities.
- Community Classes and Workshops (with a dating focus): Some community centers and organizations offer classes or workshops specifically geared toward singles. These might include dance classes, cooking classes, or other activities designed to facilitate meeting new people in a structured environment.
Meet People Organically
Meeting new people and building relationships organically can sometimes feel more authentic and more traditional. Although you never know when you’ll meet someone, meaning the process might take a little longer when you’re not actively pursuing a partner, there’s something so romantic about an unexpected meet-cute. If you’re ready to start slow or just not into the more modern approaches to dating that I’ve already mentioned, just being active and present in your community can help you can meet Mr. Right along the way when the timing is perfect. Here are some great places to consider that he might also be:
- Community Volunteering Events: Joining local charity events, community clean-ups, or volunteering at a food bank can be a great way to meet like-minded people who are interested in giving back to the community.
- Farmer’s Markets: Local farmer’s markets are perfect for casual interactions. You can strike up conversations about fresh produce, artisanal goods, or even local food vendors. Many markets also have live music or small events that encourage mingling.
- Art Shows and Galleries: Attending local art shows, gallery openings, or craft fairs can attract a diverse crowd of creative and culturally inclined individuals. These settings often have relaxed atmospheres conducive to starting conversations.
- Local Bookstores or Libraries: Many independent bookstores and libraries host book readings, author signings, and discussion groups. These events can attract people who share a love for literature and learning.
- Community Fitness Classes: Joining a local yoga, pilates, or group fitness class can be an excellent way to meet people who prioritize health and wellness. Many studios also host social events or wellness workshops.
- Cooking Classes or Food Tastings: Participating in cooking classes, wine tastings, or culinary workshops can be a fun and interactive way to meet others who enjoy food and cooking.
- Local Coffee Shops or Cafes: Frequenting a local coffee shop can help you become part of the regular crowd. Many coffee shops also host open mic nights, poetry readings, or casual meetups.
- Outdoor Adventure Groups: Joining a hiking club, biking group, or kayaking meetup can be a great way to meet active and adventurous individuals. Many outdoor groups have regular outings and social gatherings.
- Community Festivals or Street Fairs: Attending local festivals, street fairs, or cultural celebrations can be an exciting way to meet people in a festive and vibrant atmosphere.
- Language Exchange Meetups: Participating in language exchange meetups or cultural clubs can help you meet people interested in learning new languages and cultures, providing a unique and educational environment for socializing.
Remain Hopeful
Starting over can be intimidating (believe me, I know all too well!), but it’s also a time of great potential and excitement. Embrace this new chapter with an open heart and mind. Remember, it’s perfectly okay to move at your own pace and to set boundaries that make you feel comfortable. There’s no pressure or time limit to when any of this should be happening so go at your own pace. It’s important to remain hopeful and believe in the possibility of finding happiness and discovering love again, when you’re ready.
I want to remind all of you that it’s never too late to find your happily ever after. Your age or chapter in life shouldn’t define when or how you should fall in love. Every experience, every connection, and every step forward brings us closer to the love and joy we all deserve. So keep your heart open and your spirit hopeful. Love and happiness are absolutely within reach, even after the heartbreak of divorce.
To all of you wonderful ladies on similar paths, I hope you find comfort in knowing you’re not alone. Let’s support each other and celebrate every step forward, no matter how small. And if dating again isn’t for you, that’s absolutely understandable, relatable, perfectly okay, and we celebrate you as well!
With love and the hope of romantic happiness once again,
-LS
