Navigating Name Changes
Hi there, fellow women in transition!
Changing your last name can be a significant step in your life journey, whether it’s due to a marriage, divorce, or any other reason. It’s a decision that involves personal identity, tradition, and sometimes, legal processes. Whether you’re taking on a new last name, reverting to your maiden name, or a combination of the two, the process can vary depending on your circumstances and location.
As a woman who has recently gone through both a marriage and then a divorce back-to-back, I understand the complexities and emotions involved in this decision. Changing your name can be empowering, but it’s also a process that requires careful consideration, planning, and execution. From what I’ve learned recently, I thought I’d share my thoughts and a short guide for women who are contemplating changing their names, whether after marriage or divorce. Or if you’re changing your name for any other reason, hopefully this might help you as well!
Reflect on Your Identity
Before diving into the logistical aspects of name change, take some time to reflect on your identity. Your name is deeply tied to your sense of self and changing it can feel like a significant step. I will admit that just before my wedding, I started to get cold feet about changing my name, even though I’m quite traditional and know that it was something I always wanted to do. It’s important to consider how you feel about your current name and whether a change aligns with your personal identity and goals. If you’re changing it to take your new husband’s last name, although this will be YOUR name, it is nice to also consider his feelings. Is he also traditional and is taking his last name important to him? If he’s fine either way, this may take a little pressure off of you and can really do what you most feel comfortable with. And this may seem a little more on the shallow side, but again since it is going to be your name, do you even like it? Does your new husband’s name fit with your first and middle names and is it something you’ll be happy having forever? On the flip side, after getting a divorce and if you have children together, consider how you might feel having a different last name than your children (assuming you’re considering going back to your maiden name). If that’s not a big deal to you then great because especially in today’s day all families look and sound different. However, you may want to think about keeping your married name for the sake of ease when dealing with your children’s school or medical providers, or even to maintain the sense of family and continuity for your children even after going through a divorce, if those are things that resonate with you. No matter what option you decide on, it’s all about what YOU want and what will make you happy and comfortable, so think about all your options thoroughly before making YOUR final decision.
Understand Your Options
Whether you’re changing your name after marriage or divorce, it’s essential to understand your options. In the case of divorce, you may choose to revert to your maiden name, keep your ex-spouse’s name, or adopt a completely new name. After marriage, you can opt to keep your maiden name, take your spouse’s last name, or have a hybrid or hyphenated last name. I always thought the option of making my maiden name my new middle name when taking my husband’s surname as my new last name. However, I personally didn’t opt for that because my middle name is special to me. Though had it been something not quite as sentimental, this definitely would have been something I considered. If you’re a professional or have any kind of public persona or identity, you may choose to legally take your husband’s last name, but keep your public and social name your maiden name. Again, there’s no hard and fast rule on what name changes need to look like so take some time, write down your options, practice writing and saying them aloud, then see what sticks.
Legal Requirements
Research the legal requirements for changing your name in your jurisdiction. The process can vary depending on where you live, so be sure to familiarize yourself with the necessary steps and paperwork. In most cases, you’ll need to file a name change petition with the court and provide supporting documentation, such as your marriage certificate or divorce decree. When I got divorced, I had to have special language in my decree that the judge signed saying that I was able to legally take back my maiden name. Even if you’re not sure of your final decision upon getting your divorce, I would recommend putting this in your decree to prepare you should you decide you do want to change your name.
Notify Everyone
Once you’ve legally changed your name, you’ll need to notify relevant parties of the change. This includes updating things like your Social Security card, driver’s license or state ID, passport, and any other government-issued identification documents. You’ll also need to inform your employer, banks, insurance providers, and any other institutions with which you have accounts. Don’t forget to update your name on personal records such as your voter registration, professional licenses, and memberships. You may also need to update your name on utility bills, rental agreements, and other contracts. Informing your friends, family, and professional network of your name change is an important step. Consider sending out an email or social media announcement to let people know about the change and update your contact information accordingly. Be patient in the in between time where people might still be adjusting to your new name or where it takes time to make the update. In today’s digital age, it’s also fun when you get to update your online profiles and social media accounts with your new name. This includes platforms such as LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and any other sites where you have a presence. This might serve to also help with reminding family members of the recent change. Lastly, remember to update your personal and work email signatures and website if you have one as well.
Here is a more specific guide to help you with all the places you’ll need to remember making the change.
1. Legal Documents:
– Social Security Card: Update your name with the Social Security Administration by completing the appropriate form (Form SS-5) and providing documentation of your name change, such as a marriage certificate or divorce decree.
– Driver’s License or State ID: Visit your local Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) or equivalent agency to update your driver’s license or state ID with your new name. You’ll typically need to bring your current ID, proof of your name change, and payment for any associated fees.
– Passport: Apply for a new passport with your updated name. You’ll need to fill out a passport application form, provide proof of your name change (such as a marriage certificate or divorce decree), and submit your current passport along with the application.
2. Financial Accounts:
– Banks and Credit Unions: Contact your bank or credit union to update your name on your accounts, including checking, savings, credit cards, or loan accounts. You may need to visit a branch in person and provide proof of your name change. In my area (Texas), I had to wait until I received my new driver’s license before I was able to complete this step for one of my banks and had to bring it in person, along with my marriage certificate/divorce decree. Two of my other accounts just required that I provide a photocopy of all my documents through their online portal when I submitted my application to request my name change.
– Investment Accounts: Update your name with any investment accounts, such as brokerage accounts, retirement accounts, and mutual funds.
– Insurance Policies: Notify your insurance providers (auto, health, life, etc.) of your name change and request updated policy documents with your new name.
3. Employment and Professional Records:
– Employer: Inform your employer of your name change and provide any necessary documentation to HR, such as a marriage certificate or divorce decree. Update your payroll records, email address, and employee benefits accordingly.
– Professional Licenses and Certifications: If you hold any professional licenses or certifications, such as a nursing license or teaching credential, contact the issuing authority to update your name on file.
4. Government Agencies:
– Voter Registration: Update your voter registration information with your county or state election office to ensure that you receive election materials and can vote under your new name. I was actually able to complete this step during my application to change my driver’s license, but again, this may vary from state to state.
– Tax Authorities: Notify the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) and any applicable state tax authorities of your name change. You may need to update your name on your tax returns, W-2 forms, and other tax-related documents with your employer.
5. Utilities and Services:
– Utility Bills: Update your name on utility accounts such as electricity, water, gas, mobile phone plan, and internet/cable service. Contact your utility providers to request the change and provide any required documentation.
– Rental or Mortgage Agreements: If you rent your home or have a mortgage, update your name on your rental or mortgage agreement. Contact your landlord or mortgage lender to make the necessary changes. They can provide you with the necessary steps that they require in order to make the change.
6. Online Profiles and Social Media:
– Email Accounts: Update your email display name and signature to reflect your new name. You may also need to update your email address if you choose to create a new account.
– Social Media Accounts: Update your name on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, and any other sites where you have a presence. Review your privacy settings and adjust them as needed.
7. Miscellaneous:
– Memberships and Subscriptions: Update your name with any memberships or subscriptions you hold, such as gym memberships, streaming service platforms, magazine subscriptions, and professional associations.
– Legal Documents and Contracts: Review any existing legal documents and contracts (e.g., leases, wills, power of attorney) to ensure that your name is updated as necessary. Consider consulting with an attorney for guidance on updating legal documents.
By systematically going through this checklist and updating your name in each relevant area, you can ensure a smooth transition after marriage or divorce. Remember to keep copies of any documentation you provide and don’t hesitate to reach out to the appropriate authorities or organizations if you have any questions or encounter any difficulties.
Consider Professional Assistance
Name changes are fairly common so companies are usually familiar and equipped to facilitate them quickly, but every company is different on what their require and when so be sure to reach out for assistance as soon as possible. If the name change process feels overwhelming, consider seeking professional assistance. There are services available that can help streamline the process and ensure that all necessary steps are taken care of. Or if you have a good friend or family member that has recently changed their name, ask for their input. That doesn’t mean you have to follow the exact same steps they did, but they might be able to offer some insight or give more personalized suggestions since they know you better than anyone, as especially if they live in the same area that you do.
Embrace Your New Identity
Finally, embrace your new identity with confidence and pride. Whether you’ve chosen to reclaim your maiden name or adopt a new one, your name is a reflection of who you are. Embrace this opportunity for self-reinvention and embrace the next chapter of your life with optimism and determination.
Changing your name after marriage or divorce is a deeply personal decision that requires careful consideration and planning. By following this guide, you can navigate the name change process with confidence and ease. Remember, your name is an integral part of your identity and whatever you choose to do, do it for yourself and no one else. Here’s to embracing new beginnings and forging ahead on your journey of self-discovery and empowerment.
With lots of love and my new/old name,
-LS