So, here I am, divorced and single for the first time, facing the reality that sometimes you just don’t have someone to go out with. I’ve never been one to eat alone at a restaurant or go to a movie by myself, so the thought of doing anything solo that people normally do with friends or a partner feels daunting. But lately, I’ve been asking myself: why not? Why should I wait for someone to experience fun moments with? Why not step out of my comfort zone and do the things I love… for myself?
That’s exactly what I did the other night when I went to a concert alone. For the first time ever. This was huge for me because I’m the kind of person who would feel awkward just sitting by myself in a café or dark movie theater, let alone standing at a concert. But here’s the thing—I didn’t want to sit at home (crying at a sad chick flick haha) just because I didn’t have a friend or boyfriend to go with me. So, I decided to be brave.
Taking That First Step Alone
I was scrolling social media and saw that one of my favorite local country artists was playing in my town that evening. I asked if anyone was free last minute to go with me and everyone I know (all 2 people haha) said they were busy. The tickets were only a cheap $10 for general admission ticket to this small, intimate venue. It’s not one of those massive, crowded concerts where you can blend into the sea of people. Nope. It was more low-key, which actually made me nervous and feel like I was going to stand out being alone. But I put on my big girl undies and decided I was going to go anyway.
I figured, worst-case scenario, I could always leave if I felt too awkward. I’d only have wasted $10 if that was the case. The moment I got there, I could feel the nerves kicking in. Actually, if I’m being honest, I was nervous on the drive over, but just kept telling myself it was no big deal. I could always leave if I needed to and the best part was I wouldn’t even have to arrange for a friend to call with a fake emergency like I’d have to if I was trying to escape a bad blind date.
At first, it was a little strange because, let’s be real, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was constantly checking my phone and watching the college football score on one of the TVs, but slowly, I got more comfortable. That could have been the White Claw I was starting to feel as well, haha! But seriously, nobody seemed to notice or care that I was by myself. Everyone was focused on the band, just like they should be. And guess what? I even had a friend (my own “hype man,” if you will) text me words of encouragement the whole time, cheering me on as I fought through those initial moments of awkwardness and fear.
A Solo Adventure Turned Sweet
By the end of the night, something cool happened. I stopped caring what anyone thought, started dancing a little more (and by “dancing” I mean moving side to side and nodding my head haha!), and I met a couple of people who started chatting with me randomly. I even got to say hello to the band members, who actually remembered me from meeting them at a previous show. I took pictures with them which I proudly displayed on social media the next day. It turned into a surprisingly fun evening. The moral? Stepping out of my comfort zone wasn’t just a challenge—it was rewarding. To my surprise, once I loosened up, I had a genuinely good time!
Sure, there were moments when I wished I had someone to dance with, especially when all the couples in front were doing their best country swinging. But in hindsight, I wasn’t really missing out, because I don’t know how to dance like that anyway (maybe that’s something I can try next!). The key is that I pushed through the fear of looking silly or being alone and I’m so proud of myself for doing it.
Dating Yourself is a Game-Changer
This night out got me thinking: why don’t we do this more often? We’re so conditioned to think we need someone to enjoy the things we love. But here’s the truth: you can absolutely treat yourself to a great night out, no matter what your relationship status is. In fact, especially if you’re single! I treated myself to a concert, a drink, and even picked up a pizza on the way home for the ultimate solo date night. And you know what? It was awesome.
When you’re single, there’s this temptation to feel like you’re waiting for something—or someone—to come along and complete your experiences. I know that’s an extremely common thought in my mind. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to wait. Life is happening right now and you deserve to enjoy it before it passes you by. What are you waiting for?!
Why You Should Try It Too
If you find yourself with a night off, a canceled plan, or just some free time without the kiddos (or even husband if you are married), why not take yourself out? Here’s my challenge to you: pick something you’d normally do with a friend or your partner, and go solo. It could be a concert like mine, a movie, dinner at your favorite restaurant, a hike and picnic, or even a mini road trip to a new spot you’ve been wanting to check out.
Here’s why you should:
- It Builds Confidence: Doing something on your own, especially when it feels intimidating, builds a new level of self-trust. You realize that you’re capable of enjoying yourself and that you don’t need others to validate your experiences.
- It’s Liberating: There’s something freeing about not having to coordinate with anyone else’s schedule or preferences. You get to pick exactly what you want to do and enjoy it at your own pace.
- You Get to Know Yourself: When you’re alone, you’re more in tune with your own thoughts and feelings. It’s a chance to reflect and really understand what makes you truly happy.
- It’s a Form of Self-Love: Treating yourself to experiences, whether it’s a night out or just indulging in something you enjoy, is an act of self-love. You’re sending yourself the message that you’re worth it (which you are!).
Don’t Wait—Enjoy Now
If you’re single, like me, you might be tempted to think, “I’ll start doing these things when I meet someone special.” But here’s a little secret: you’re someone special right now! And if you’re going to love yourself, why wait? Go date yourself. Treat yourself to the experiences you want to have because you deserve them.
The bottom line is that we shouldn’t let being alone stop us from enjoying life. Sure, it can feel awkward at first, but with a little courage and a lot of self-kindness, you’ll find that stepping out of your comfort zone is more than worth it. You never know who you’ll meet along the way or what other experiences and opportunities it could lead to. Plus, as Miley Cyrus kindly reminded us of, you can buy your own flowers and sometimes it feels great to do just that.
So next time you’re sitting at home wondering if you should just wait until someone’s free, do what I did—get up, grab your bag, and go. Whether it’s a concert, a movie, or a simple dinner, you’ll be glad you did. I promise!
And who knows? You might even meet some cool people along the way. But even if you don’t, the night is still yours to enjoy.
With lots of love and encouragement to try something new or scary,
-LS