Hey, lovely ladies!
I want to share something that has been on my mind lately and I’m sure it’s something many of you can relate to. Have you ever stopped to think about how nice it is to feel needed? I know I have, especially lately. As women in our 30s, many of us are navigating through life changes and this feeling of being needed can sometimes be a major source of our identity and fulfillment, especially for those of us who are wives and/or mothers. After all, women are designed to be nurturers so it’s only natural to have a desire to be needed.
For me, this feeling has been somewhat of a struggle recently. I often find myself reflecting on the various aspects of my life and even more now given all the changes and challenges I’ve endured. My roles have significantly changed and it’s left me questioning my feelings about my purpose and self worth. Recently, I heard someone mention how nice it is to feel needed, and wow, it really resonated with me. That hit me so hard and it got me thinking about the times in my life when I’ve felt the most fulfilled, and many of those moments have been when I’ve been needed by others — whether it’s by my partner, my daughter, or even my furballs.
Lately, though, I’ve found myself grappling with not feeling as needed as I used to. It’s a bit of a shift, isn’t it? When your children grow up and become more independent or when circumstances change and your role as a caregiver evolves, it’s difficult. I’ve found myself wondering about my value as a person and a woman now that I’m not needed in the same ways.
And let’s talk about pets for a moment. They’re wonderful companions, no doubt about it. I’m grateful for them and couldn’t even begin to tell you how nice it is to have their companionship in my home. But as fulfilling as it is to care for them, it can be overwhelming (especially when you have SIX of them) and it’s just not quite the same as the need we feel from a partner or a child. Plus, their conversation skills aren’t all that great either (haha).
So, when major life changes occur and we’re no longer needed, where does that leave us? How can we navigate this feeling of not being needed in the same ways and find fulfillment once again in other aspects of our lives?
1. Redefine Your Identity
First and foremost, it’s important to remember that our worth is not solely defined by being needed by others or what we can give to others. We are complex, multifaceted individuals with so much more to offer than just our caregiving abilities. Take some time to rediscover the other parts of yourself that you may have put on hold while you were needed in a different capacity. Reflect on what makes you truly happy without the gratification of serving others.
2. Cultivate Self-Care
Now is the perfect time to invest in self-care. Whether it’s through a new hobby, a fitness routine, or even just some quiet time to yourself with a facemask, popcorn, and binge-watching your favorite show, self-care is essential for maintaining a positive sense of self-worth.
3. Build Other Relationships
While the dynamics of our relationships may change, there are still plenty of opportunities to connect with others. Strengthen your friendships, reconnect with family members outside of your home, or consider volunteering in your community. Building and nurturing these relationships can provide a new sense of purpose and fulfillment.
4. Set New Goals
Setting new goals and aspirations can help to create a sense of purpose. Whether it’s a career goal, a personal milestone, or a new adventure, having something to work towards can be incredibly motivating and fulfilling.
5. Practice Gratitude
Lastly, practicing gratitude can help to shift your focus from what you feel you may have lost to what you have to be thankful for. Take time each day to reflect on the positive aspects of your life and the things that bring you joy. Maybe even start a gratitude journal where you can capture what you’re grateful for each day and go back to reflect on days where you might be struggling more than others.
Feeling needed is a natural and fulfilling part of life, but it’s important to remember that our worth goes beyond this feeling. By redefining our identity, practicing self-care, building relationships, setting new goals, and being thankful, we can find fulfillment in many different aspects of our lives. And remember, you are not alone in this journey. We are all navigating through these changes together.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Have you experienced a similar shift in your life? Let’s continue this conversation. Your perspective is always valued and appreciated!
As always, with love,
-LS