Hey there, fabulous ladies in love!

Let’s talk about something that’s as intriguing as it is entertaining to me:  the magic of opposites attracting in romantic relationships.  Picture this…you’re madly in love with someone who’s the complete opposite of you in so many ways.  They snore like a freight train, while you sleep as silently as a ninja.  They’re a social butterfly, but you’re a cozy bookworm.  They’re a spender and you’re a budgeting guru.  But somehow, amidst all these differences, you’ve found common ground and your relationship thrives. You love them, despite being your polar opposite.

It’s a scenario we’ve all seen play out in movies, read about in books, and witnessed in real life.  But how do these seemingly mismatched pairs make it work?  Well, buckle up, because we’re about to jump into the “opposites attract” theory and the art of compromising when you’re in love with your opposite counterpart (as many of us tend to be).

In Exhibit A, let’s start with the classic case of the snorer vs. the non-snorer.  You’ve probably heard the jokes about separate bedrooms or even separate houses to escape the nighttime symphony coming from one partner that keeps the other partner awake to no end.  But hey, if it means both partners get a good night’s sleep and wake up refreshed and ready to face the day, then why not sleep separately?  Especially if you’ve attempted ear plugs, those nose strips to reduce snoring, or the anti-snore position on your adjustable bed.  Just be sure NOT to hold your snoring partner’s nose closed!! This is not healthy for them or you if they wake up swinging! Embracing separate sleeping arrangements doesn’t mean your love is any less strong.  It simply means you value your sleep (and sanity) and can actually be a sign to each other that you value the other’s wellbeing more than how you think your relationship should look.  The important thing to focus on is still getting enough intimacy and connection the relationship needs to thrive in ways other than cuddling up next to each other at night.  But there are tons of other ways to accomplish those types of connections, like cuddling on the couch while watching your favorite TV show before hitting the sack, so don’t be afraid to explore other options that work best for you both.  And on the plus side, when sleeping separately you get to skip the morning breath!  In all seriousness though, do what suits you best whether it be getting used to sleeping through a ruckus or throwing in the towel and sleeping in a separate bed or couch if all other attempts don’t pan out.

Next, there’s the adventurous extrovert paired with the quiet introvert.  One craves the thrill of new experiences and the buzz of social gatherings or storm chasing, while the other finds solace in the comfort of home and the company of a few close friends or family members.  But guess what?  These people always find each other! And no matter how awkward the initial conversions might be, they actually end up complementing each other perfectly in the long run.  The extrovert encourages the introvert to step out of their comfort zone, while the introvert grounds the extrovert when needed and provides a safe haven when the world gets too overwhelming in their face-paced mindset.  It’s a beautiful balance of yin and yang and sometimes in these cases these opposites are the best pairings for a successful long term relationship.

Now, let’s talk about everyone’s favorite/least favorite topic:  money.  We’ve all heard the saying, “opposites attract, but they don’t budget together.”  Well at least in my most recent experiences, I can attest to that being true.  One partner is a saver, diligently squirreling away every penny for a rainy day, while the other is a spender, living for the moment and enjoying life to the fullest.  But with a little compromise and communication, it is possible for these two to find a middle ground that satisfies both their financial goals and their desire for fun and spontaneity.  Maybe they set up separate accounts for personal spending while maintaining a joint account for shared expenses (you know, those less fun and responsible “adulting” things).  Maybe one partner is completely in charge of the monthly bills and expenses (only if both parties are comfortable with that!), then they give themselves and their partner an allowance of any surplus each month that wasn’t used for bills or savings.  Or perhaps they agree on a budgeting strategy that allows for guilt-free splurges now and then or sets a limit in place that is comfortable to them both, like $500 per month, where anything spent under that amount is fair game while anything over that amount will require a conversation between them prior.  Whatever the solution, the key is to find a balance that works for both parties and takes all their income, budget, savings, and spending goals in mind.  The overall goal is to be on the same page about the long term financial goals and to think outside of the box in terms of what options are available and best fit you both to meet those goals.  Being on the same page and acting like a cohesive team is most important, whether regarding money or any other situation!

Lastly, let’s not forget about those little everyday differences that make life interesting.  One partner is a night owl who burns the midnight oil, while the other is a morning person who greets the sunrise with a smile.  One loves rom-coms, the other prefers horror flicks.  One is a foodie (or a chef) who’ll try anything once, while the other is a picky eater with a limited palate.  One falls asleep 12 seconds after hitting the pillow and the other takes hours of scrolling before their eyes feel tired. One person is a talker and the other is the strong silent type. These quirks may seem trivial, but they can become sources of tension if not addressed with humor, understanding, and a little bit of encouragement from each other to reach outside personal comfort zones.  Maybe you take turns picking the movie for movie night or you compromise on a restaurant that offers something for both adventurous and more selective eaters.  It’s all about finding creative solutions that allow both partners to feel heard and respected, while supporting each others’ differences and celebrating individualities. No two people are exactly the same, even people who love each other deeply, so remember that and choose to have fun instead of get frustrated with these small and trivial variables.

At the end of the day, what matters most in a relationship are the core values and priorities that bind you together.  Trust, intimacy, communication, loyalty, fun, and connection are the foundation upon which a strong and lasting relationship is built.  As long as these big-picture elements are in place, the small differences become nothing more than endearing quirks that add flavor to your love story.  It’s not about conforming to societal norms or trying to fit into a preconceived mold of what a relationship should look like.  Instead, it’s about embracing the unique dynamics of your partnership with your favorite person and crafting a love story that’s authentically yours.  So, whether you’re a snorer paired with a non-snorer, an adventurous extrovert matched with a quiet introvert, or any other combination of opposites, remember that love knows no bounds.  Once you’ve chosen your person, fallen in love with them, and committed to being together no matter what, as long as both partners are happy and satisfied and the important stuff is taken care of, then you’re doing it right and set up for success.  Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to love.  Embrace the beautiful chaos of opposites attracting, find harmony in love’s quirks, and build a relationship that’s uniquely yours.  Celebrate the beautiful tapestry of love’s diversity and find joy together in the delightful dance of opposites attracting.  I hope all your relationships will be filled with lightness, laughter, understanding, empathy toward each other, and endless joy.

Cheers to embracing your quirky opposite and as always, lots of love,

-LS