Hey there, fellow curly girls!
If you’ve ever spent hours detangling, struggled to find a hat that actually fits and doesn’t create severe hat head, or cursed the humidity for turning your perfectly styled locks into a frizzy mess, then you’re in good company. Welcome to the wonderful world of curly and wavy hair, where brushing is an absolute no, every day is unpredictable, and finding a good stylist is like striking gold. As a curly girl for myself, I have a few tips and tricks to share that I’ve learned during my curly hair journey that only we could understand. So grab your favorite gel and get ready to chat about all things related to our fabulous, textured hair!
Before we get started though, let me first say that I’m not a hair stylist, nor a curl expert. Everything you’re about to read is based on my own experiences and opinions, so please implement these tips at your own risk. Also remember that everyone’s curl type, curl pattern, hair thickness, hair health, etc. is different, so things that may work for me may not work for you. I’m simply sharing what I’ve learned through the years in hopes to help someone else on their unique curly journey, but experimentation is important to find exactly what works for you.
But now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into it!
Tip 1: Hydration is Key
Are you tired of your curls or waves feeling like a tumbleweed? One issue could be that you’re over-washing. If you have curly or textured hair, it’s recommended that you say goodbye to daily hair washing (yay!) and let those luscious locks get dirty! Well, not really, but it is important to avoid washing too often which can strip away natural oils and lead to drying out and added frizz. How often you should wash your hair really will depend on your particular hair texture and could also be affected by your daily routines such as your job environment or workout intensity, but washing anywhere from every other day to once a week could be normal. Just test it out until you figure out the right balance that works for you. And don’t be afraid of a little dry shampoo!
On wash days, be sure to opt for a moisturizing shampoo that will gently cleanse without leaving your strands thirsty for hydration. And don’t skimp on the conditioner! However, you don’t want to weigh your hair down in the process by using too much conditioner which can stretch out curls or reduce volume at the roots, so try focusing your moisturizing conditioner only mid-shaft to the ends. You can even let it sit a few minutes before rinsing. Hair masks and deep conditioning treatments are also an amazing idea for extra periodic hydration.
Tip 2: Never Brush Out Your Curls (unless you want a messy ball of frizz)
First off, throw away that regular brush! Seriously, just toss it out and let it find its way into someone’s straight hair because brushes and curls or waves are mortal enemies. Instead, opt for a wet brush, wide-tooth comb, or even just use your fingers if it’s not too snarly after washing and conditioning.
Second of all, don’t even think about brushing your curls when they’re dry. No amount of detangler or gel can save you from that frizz bomb waiting to explode. And by the way, you have my permission to ignore people who say things like, “ew, you don’t brush your hair?” They don’t understand and that’s ok. But back to the point…
Lastly, embrace the chaos and volume. Let those waves and kinks do their thing because perfection is overrated anyway. In my opinion, the least amount of brushing or combing and the messier the better when it comes to curls and natural texture. Once my hair is detangled, I like to play with and separate the curls as little as possible. And the best part is that since we don’t wash every day, we don’t have to brush and detangle every day like straight-haired girls do!
Tip 3: Hats Are an All Day Commitment, So Be Ready
Finding a hat that actually fits over our glorious curls is like trying to stuff a watermelon into a tea cup. Sometimes “one size fits all” hats means only when you have perfectly smooth, sleek hair that doesn’t defy gravity. You’ve got to be willing to embrace hat head and smooshed curls until your next wash day, making wearing a hat truly a commitment.
But fear not, curly girls! Wearing a hat is possible, as long as you’re ready for that commitment. It’s like wearing a ponytail; once you do it, there’s no going back. Ponytail holders (which my daughter and I have always called “pretties”) and hats alike tend to crush curls and ruin perfect curl patterns, so in my opinion, it’s best to do it on the last day before you wash. Plus, a good hat or pony could be the perfect way to hide hair that needs to be washed anyway. You know what I mean; we’ve all been there!
Whenever you are ready to commit to your hat head for the day, there are ways to wear a hat that will even look flattering over top of all that volume and texture. Embrace a slouchy beanie and let those cute little curls around your face peek out. Or consider rocking a high ponytail or pigtail braids when wearing a baseball cap to give your hair the extra space it needs to breathe while looking sporty and fun. Have I mentioned that some guys love it when girls wear their hats?!
Tip 4: Never Let a Good Stylist Get Away
Something you do actually want to commit to is a good stylist. Let’s take a moment to recognize the importance of finding a good, trustworthy stylist for us curly girls. The right person who knows you and your unique hair type is something rare so when you find the perfect person that you and your curls connect with, don’t let them go!
Since I’ve had my fair share of hair horror stories and been traumatized way too many times from less-than-desired haircut results, I admittedly will sometimes wait way too long in between trims. The fear of a bad cut outweighs the split ends for me. However, just remember that keeping your hair trimmed will not only keep it healthy, but also help ensure your style stays more tame and shaped so your curls will look their bouncy best.
We curly haired folks need someone who understands the unique challenges of our locks and doesn’t treat them like straight hair. Let’s not pretend they’re the same! A good stylist knows that cutting curly hair is an art form, not just a quick snip-snip situation. We all deserve to walk out of the salon feeling like Beyoncé in her Crazy in Love music video…fierce, fabulous, and ready to take on the world one curly strand at a time. So be diligent about choosing the right stylist and never let them go when you find them.
Tip 5: Wash-and-Go with Curly Hair Is a No-Go
So, you’ve got curly hair and you’re thinking of just washing immediately before heading out the door? Nope, you can stop right there. Let me tell you, the wash-and-go approach with curly hair is like playing a game of Russian roulette — one wrong move and your curls can turn into a puffy mess! Curls absolutely have a mind of their own and letting them call the shots can mean they’ll take over the world (on our head). So as much as I know you’d love to hop out of the shower and be ready to head out the door, resist the urge and leave a little time for some extra TLC to keep those curls in check.
For us curlies, it’s not as simple as lather-rinse-repeat; it’s more like a 10-step process. Trust me when I say that embracing the wash-and-go life without proper care is asking for trouble—mainly frizz! After all, nothing worth having comes easy. Styling is an intricate process involving just the right amount of product and strategic air drying or defusing techniques. Maybe instead of washing your hair in the morning, the evening would be a better choice for you to wash so you have more time to style. Just be sure not to go to bed with wet hair and that it’s completely dry before hitting your pillow.
Tip 6: Be Open to Embracing Your Unpredictable Curl Pattern
Let’s not forget that our curl pattern seems to have a mind of its own. One day it’s ringlets galore, the next it’s more waves than curls, and some days it’s both at once! Embracing the chaos of curly hair is like riding a rollercoaster. You never know which way it’s going to twist and turn. But hey, isn’t that what makes life and our locks so much more exciting?
The key to embracing your unpredictable curl pattern is to treat it like a mischievous friend who always keeps you on your toes. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, it throws you for a loop with a totally new curl formation. Instead of trying to force your curls into submission, try to lean into the madness. Let your curls be their wild, untamed selves and revel in the uniqueness of each unruly strand. One day they might want to part in the middle, one day they might want a side part. My suggestion for the best hair day is to just allow them to do exactly as they want and work with your curls instead of against them. Although yes, we can have bad hair days just like everyone else, giving your strands a little freedom to lay as they will might reduce the chances.
Not only are curl patterns different on the same day depending on where they are on your head, but patterns also might look different on each day in between washes. As your curls stretch out since the last time they’re wet, they can be different on day one, two, three, etc. Although some might say it’s best to use heat tools as little as possible, you might opt to touch up some of the most straight pieces with a curling iron or wand to give them a little bounce back until rewashing. Or spritz with a little water and scrunch in a bit more gel to refresh your curl pattern between wash days.
Tip 7: Combat Frizz to Keep Your Curls Tame
Humidity can be the curly or wavy girl’s worst enemy. One minute you’ve got a fabulous mane of bouncy curls and the next you’re rocking a frizz ball that could double as a science experiment. But fear not, fellow curly girls! Embracing your natural texture doesn’t have to mean surrendering to humidity. Sure, it may take some trial and error, but finding the right products and techniques can help you conquer even the most moist of summer or rainy days.
Depending on whether you prefer your curls to have that more defined “wet” look or to have a softer and more natural look, you’ll need to experiment with products until you get your desired effect. With so many products out there, from mousses and gels to curl creams and serums, there’s no shortage of options. Your hair may be different from other curly girls’ hair so remember that what works for some might not work for others. Additionally, if you live in humid places like the Florida coast or Houston, you’ll likely need different products than if living in Yellowstone. Don’t be afraid to test out new products and even try different combinations of products. And remember, just like applying makeup, sometimes you have to practice a few times before you get the amount, application method, drying technique, etc. just right so be sure to try a few times before moving onto something else.
If you prefer the wet look, opt for lightweight yet strong hold gels that lock in curls without weighing down your strands. If you prefer the more natural look, opt for a curl cream or mousse which will give you a much looser hold and softer feel. Or if you still prefer to use a gel but want a softer appearance, once you dry naturally or defuse, be sure to flip your head upside down and “scrunch out the crunch” as they say, which basically just means to scrunch your curls from the tips up toward the roots to break up the cast left behind by the gel and make them less crunchy feeling. This still gives you optimal hold, but without as much of that wet look.
Embrace the Unique Beauty of Your Curly Hair
So there you have it, folks! Life with curls and waves is unpredictable and possibly more work than straight hair, but I’ve done my best to share my tips and tricks to help you on your curly hair journey. Try to embrace it all and be grateful for your unique hair, no matter your pattern, texture, and styling challenges. You’re a curly girl. You’re unique, you’re beautiful, you’re messy, and you’re perfectly made. Embrace it!
With lots of love, gratitude, and mousse…
-LS